Saturday, December 25, 2010

Ok, here's the scoop...

Since this blog has become a forum for both my relationship and school now, I figure I can just lay out there what's been going on. I warn you, this gets very Jerry-Springer-ish...

First of all, when I began nursing school this year, my wife had a male friend who was a mutual friend. They talked all the time on the phone and it bothered me, but he was married so I figured it was fine; I'm really not the jealous type at all.

As nursing school progressed, she became better friends with him. Then it came to light that his wife had been cheating on him. So, to make a long story short, he left his wife and had nowhere to stay but with us. At this point, I was actually cool with everything since he was a mutual friend.

Everything was going pretty much fine except for that nagging feeling something was going on. When I would be at work or school they'd go to dinner or out to the bar. Then one day at the bar and got beat up pretty badly. He landed in the hospital with a closed brain injury and my wife stayed with him for like three days, leaving me to take care of kids as well as somehow continue to work and do nursing school.

When he came home, he was still in pretty bad shape. She then said she needed to stay with him in his room because she needed to wake him up every so often because of his concussion. I hadn't really covered head trauma in school yet, but I had a sinking feeling you didn't really need to wake someone up every hour three days after the initial injury. So I was pretty much like whatever. I mean I had a full-time job, full-time school, and I didn't really have the time or the means to even monitor what my wife was doing since I was doing 70 hour weeks, not including at least 10 hours of driving weekly.

Well, she never actually came back into "our" bedroom. She's pretty much just been staying with this guy while I go to school and work, and in my house nonetheless. She says that she knows our marriage is over, but I need to stay for my son. I, like the mother of all dumbasses, agreed, not only because of that reason, but because during 20-30 hours a week of nursing school and 40-50 hours worth of working, I just do not have the time to coordinate a move.

It's been this way for damn close to a year now. My wife still denies that there is a relationship going on, and they are in fact, just good friends. This insults my intelligence and pisses me off about the situation even more. To show her appreciation for me staying for "our son", which in her language translates into "I need someone to pay the bills", she has done the following:
  1. Had her name put onto her "good friends" checking account.
  2. Had her "good friend" co-sign a car loan.
  3. She went on vacation to West Virginia for five days... during our fourth wedding anniversary.
  4. The kids, with the exception of my son, often call me by his name.
  5. Frequently goes to bars with him and forbids me to come.
Now comes the best part... the double standard. My Facebook account, cell phone, and pretty much anything else, she used to check like daily for fear I was cheating on her with someone from nursing school... months after she began sleeping with her "good friend" and moved out of our bedroom. Anytime I make time to go out and attempt to have a life, she says I need to spend time with my son. Anytime I go out a grab a few beers she begins texting me wanting to know when I'll be home, telling me my son is asking for me, etc. etc.

Now I don't think I am wrong in taking a day every now and then and doing what I want to do... whether that be having a few beers on gameday with my buddy or even at this point taking a girl out for a dinner or something. It's just not right that 100% of my time be spent working, sleeping, at school, or taking care of my son.

It's just a horrible situation and I can't wait to get out. I'm getting an apartment as soon as I can and getting out of this situation. My wife states that we are just "roommates", yet I turn over a god awful amount of money to her every two weeks and my whereabouts and my business is constantly monitored.

I can't live like this any longer, but I think I'm going to try to make it through one more stinkin' nursing class before I get the hell out of here.


nurse XY said...

No way, don't stay for even one more minute. There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start.

So if I'm getting this right, some dude is banging your wife, in your house, that you're paying for, and going on trips and dates you're paying for, parenting kids that aren't even yours, that you're paying for...

Dude, take your kid and get out.

Get out.

In the name of all that's holy, before she ass-rapes your soul too...

Get out.

Rick said...

I figured as much. Kinda like how your woman gains 1 pound a week until you wake up one day and you're like holy shit.

I hear ya and I'm out ASAP. Just don't even know where to begin mortgage, custody, child support, all that shit.

Just sucks. All the way around.

Jessica Mac said...

oh my goodness, that is a horrible horrible HORRIBLE way to live. get out as soon as you can and don't give up your hard earned money for her and the "bills".

good luck.

Estelle Darling said...

Oh, honey, this is no way to live.
I'm all for trying to keep families together but from the sounds of it, this marriage ended a long time ago. :-(
Do whatever you have to do for right now and get out as soon as you can. You have worked too hard on your degree to let her stand in your way.

Kendra said...

I can't believe she expects you to believe that she and her "good friend" are just good friends...especially when she is sleeping in his room..?!?! Yikes.

I agree with the others -- get out and get away from that mess. You deserve a better situation than that.

Rick said...

Thanks for the advice. I left, yesterday. Packed my shit and moved in with my mom, who is having health issues of her own.

Two birds, one stone: now mom has the help she needs, and I'm outta the situation.

I appreciate the feedback, really, I do.

Cartoon Characters said...

wow. Just read your entry. I went thru something similar - "good friend" stayed to help with the business and while I worked at the hospital during the w/e and at our camp during the week...they were "busy at it"....
Don't go anywhere near her...don't listen to any whining she does and don't ever go back no matter what. There is someone out there that deserves you, and your son doesn't need that kind of exposure Lucky you weren't with her for 10 years...i understand it can be pretty pricey at that point. Make sure the divorce is iron clad and she can't come back and reap more of your future earnings....and - always assume she is going to do the worst, because I can tell you now, they do. Good luck and I am glad you can help out with your mom.